Marianna Stolbow, a Finnish relationship coach, emphasizes that the underlying issue in many relationship conflicts is the question of significance: 'Do I matter to you?'. She notes that the fear of disagreements often leads individuals to choose partners who initially seem easygoing or accommodating. Stolbow's two decades of experience supporting divorcing adults and training seminar leaders for the Finnish divorce seminar provides her with insight into the dynamics of relationships.

Stolbow argues that while a seemingly perfect partner can feel initially comforting, this ease can mask deeper issues. Her perspective suggests that an overly compliant partner may suppress their own needs in favor of keeping peace and harmony in the relationship. Such behavior can lead to resentment and unresolved conflicts, eventually jeopardizing the relationship's stability.

The discussion raises important questions about the nature of relationships and highlights the importance of mutual understanding and open communication. Stolbow urges individuals to reconsider their choice in partners and to understand that a certain level of complexity is necessary for a healthy relationship, where both partners can express their needs and maintain their individuality as well.