Inés Mañosa, relationship coach: 'The response that many give when their partner says ‘it hurt me’ that can break the relationship'
Inés Mañosa, a relationship coach, discusses how defensive reactions to a partner's expression of hurt can escalate conflicts in relationships.
In a recent viral TikTok, relationship coach Inés Mañosa explores the crucial role of communication in romantic partnerships, particularly when one partner expresses feelings of hurt. She argues that conflicts often escalate not because of the original issue, but due to the defensive responses that follow such expressions of vulnerability. Many times, when one partner says, 'that hurt me,' the other responds with defensiveness, often saying something like, 'well, you hurt me too,' which turns a sensitive conversation into a confrontation.
Mañosa emphasizes that this habitual response can undermine healthy dialogue, making each party feel compelled to protect their own feelings rather than address the hurt being expressed. This common exchange can escalate into an emotional duel, where each partner focuses on their own pain instead of understanding the perspective of the other. Such dynamics can lead to misunderstandings and unresolved issues over time, jeopardizing the relationship.
The coach's insights highlight the importance of fostering open and empathetic communication within relationships. By recognizing and altering these defensive behaviors, couples can create a space conducive to healing and understanding, preventing conflicts from becoming more damaging. Mañosa's advice encourages individuals to listen actively and respond with compassion when their partner reveals their vulnerabilities, ultimately strengthening their bond.