An expert highlights that the notion of growing apart often oversimplifies the true reasons behind relationship breakdowns, which are typically rooted in unfulfilled needs and unresolved conflicts.
In recent discussions surrounding divorce, the phrase 'growing apart' is commonly heard among those ending their relationships. Lotta Pihlava, a specialist in sexual therapy from the Population Research Institute, argues that this explanation often only scratches the surface of the actual issues leading to a separation. She emphasizes that when someone desires a divorce, it typically stems from unmet needs or desires within the relationship, which have not been effectively communicated or understood. This lack of communication can result in unresolved conflicts and unspoken issues that drive partners apart.
Pihlava points out that romanticizing the idea of growing apart ignores the deeper feelings of disappointment and emotional hurt often experienced during such transitions. In reality, the deterioration of relationships frequently involves a complex interplay of unresolved problems and emotional gaps that accumulate over time. Partners may find it challenging to voice their concerns or engage in meaningful dialogue, leading to further emotional distance.
The dynamics of long-term relationships are inherently subject to change, and Pihlava notes that life stressors can also contribute to feelings of disconnection. Awareness and acknowledgment of these emotional and structural factors are critical for couples to address their difficulties before considering separation. Instead of accepting growing apart as a benign explanation, couples might benefit from actively engaging in communication to rectify underlying issues in their relationship.
