Feb 16 • 04:21 UTC 🇰🇷 Korea Hankyoreh (KR)

If You Feel Alone Even When You're With Your Partner

The article discusses the concept of solitude and the psychological ability to be alone, emphasizing the importance of a healthy relationship with oneself to combat feelings of loneliness.

The article reflects on the feelings of loneliness that can occur even in a relationship, drawing insights from the thoughts of individuals like Eun-jae, who feels a peculiar emptiness during solitary moments despite having a partner. This experience highlights a common struggle among people who may understand rationally that their relationship is not in jeopardy, yet still feel an intense sense of solitude, prompting existential questions about their self-worth and belonging.

Eun-jae's internal struggle indicates a lack of the necessary psychological skill termed 'the capacity to be alone,' as described by the British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. He posits that this ability involves developing a positive relationship with oneself, where the presence of an internal supportive object is essential. Thus, to be comfortably alone, one must cultivate and maintain inner connections that soothe the loneliness and enhance self-acceptance.

The article concludes by emphasizing the need for individuals to foster this capacity to be alone, which is not about isolation but instead about nurturing one’s relationship with oneself and positive social connections. By doing so, individuals can learn to embrace their solitude as a time of personal growth rather than a source of anguish, thus transforming how they perceive their alone time amidst relationships.

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